MOSFILM
SECOND ARTISTIC UNION
IRINA MURAVIOVA
TATIANA VASSILIEVA
ALEKSANDR ABDULOV
LEONID KURAVLEV
MIHAIL KOKSHENOV
in the film
THE MOST CHARMING AND ATTRACTIVE
Comrades! Oskin's mother-in-law has died. I'm collecting money for Oskin.
- Which Oskin? The redhead with a beard? - Yes, that's him.
How much?
You give as much as you can. Personally, I gave a ruble.
You're a party member. You're no example to us.
True, a ruble is a lot from us. Just recently we all chipped in for Krakosyan.
If it was Oskin himself who died,
but it's his mom-in-law, who we've never met in our lives.
Oskin's always finding fault with our work.
Last time because of him we almost lost our project.
As you wish...
I said that you give as much as you can...
...and want.
Comrades, if I remember right,
Oskin was honored with a medal for suggesting a new system of standardized control.
Stop by my office later, Nadya.
Alright... Afterall, Oskin and I did play on a chess team together in college.
He gave me a lift in his car once, when I was running late.
Once, he let me take the only two cans of Bulgarian pepper at the grocery.
I too have a mother-in-law...
she's fine for now
But... you never know!
Should automatically subtract a sum from our salaries to donate to these causes.
They'd save valuable work time! We'd have less unexpected expenditures!
By the way, Volodya, today's your turn for night duty.
Dammit!
Never hear anything good from you.
It's not my fault, Volodya, that everything related to our community...
is bad news for you!
I warmed up the ball. We're serving.
Good job!
I reminded Volodya Smirnov about his night duty shift tonight.
Still he didn't come!
I don't understand what is it he has that cannot wait at all.
Love! He's our ladies man.
He's just a walking mannequin doll.
They're carrying something!
Let's look just in case!
No! Don't!
Nadya!
- What? - Who's there?
Quiet!!!
Come on out!
Quiet!!! What if someone's there?!
Stop! Don't move!
Get away from the car!
Nadya! Hold on!
Stay still!
Police!
Klyueva?
Is it really you?
Susanna!
Wow! How you look now! I'd never recognize you!
And you haven't changed one bit.
Listen, what happened to your eye?
I got in a fight.
A fight?!
Where are you nowadays? What do you do?
This is not a place to talk. Let's go!
Let's go to a cafe to catch up?
Though your appearance is rather...
Oh, it's nothing!
After university I came back here.
I work as a sociologist at a factory that makes air conditioners.
Guess what? Petka Kopytin works at our factory.
You remember?
He sat next to me in 9th grade?
Now married with 2 children.
You still unmarried?
Men don't exist for me as a subgroup of society.
I don't notice them at all.
Don't need them anyways.
And who was kissing with Sashka Chukmenyov in 9th grade?
Wasn't me was it?
Can't believe now that it ever even happened.
But it was all Sashka's idea! You know that.
Nadya, explain why are you putting off marriage?
As if I was surrounded by suitors and was rejecting their proposals.
No one's ever offered me marriage.
They won't!
We can't afford to wait for charity from nature.
We must take what we need ourselves.
Words of Michurin!
No, my words!
Because Michurin said it about agriculture,
And I say it about men.
That we need to win over men ourselves!
And not wait endlessly for men to discover marriage on their own.
We'll be retired by then.
Besides, let's admit the truth:
neither of us is a beauty.
I'm not.
But you are very beautiful!
I am a woman of charm. Nothing more.
And no one knows that I created this charm myself.
I built it up.
The fact that I am married is the result of my own hard work...
and initiative.
Susanochka, you're a delight!
I'm really quite ordinary.
Simply my profession came to my rescue.
Sociology and psychology are not only for workplace management.
These sciences are invaluable in personal life!
For example, we've been sitting here 30 minutes,
but zero attention from men.
Because look...
there are so many young cute gals around, right?
Right.
We can continue sitting this way the entire evening, right?
Of course.
Or we can sit this way for the rest of our lives.
Now look.
Young gentlemen,
would you help me out with a light?
We will.
I don't move. Must come themselves.
Please.
What interesting fingers you have.
- You're not a violin player, are you? - No.
I work in trade. Why?
Your long delicate fingers indicate a refined psychological frame.
Thank you!
Maybe we can join you?
You can tell us some more.
Sorry, my friend and I are having a serious talk.
But we can dance with you. Right, Nadya?
Agreed. We'll dance.
Yuck! How disgusting.
I don't smoke. Just use it for conversation starter.
So, the first axiom:
If not beautiful, be active.
Listening, right?
Become active. Find your husband yourself.
Only not here, not at a cafe.
Better to find him at your workplace.
It's more stable there, you have longer contact.
- Are there men at your work? - Yes.
Would you like to dance?
I forgot! Slipped my mind.
Slipped your mind?!
You were at the movies with a girl. While we were fighting two big men.
Poor men!
I can only imagine what you two did to them.
You would've had the black eye,
instead of Nadya.
As if they'd give him a black eye.
Volodya could've easily tackled them,
the two drunks.
Why you girls pestering drunk men?
OK, I'll report your absenses to the group leader.
Go ahead.
If it's such a serious problem, I can do night duty with a different group.
You can join us.
Our group is level headed. We don't fight anyone.
Don't pester anyone.
Better to go to the movies, then serve night duty the way you do it.
I didn't bake this. Mom did.
She's a big culinary master!
Hiding your wedding from us?
You jocking, Misha?
It's my 3rd marriage.
Just honored it in a small family circle.
How's the 3rd husband? Good?
Better than the 2nd. But... not ideal.
So you don't love this one either?
Thank you!
As La Rochefoucauld said...
in a couple, one person loves and the other allowes himself to be loved.
Which one of you allowes himself to be loved?
I of course.
Am I so foolish as to love?
Is it bad to love?
It all depends on the meaning you attach to the word.
The ordinary meaning.
Are there others?
As many as you want.
Nadya, Lyusya and I can give you lessons on this subject.
We won't charge much! How about it, Lyus?
Thanks,
but no thanks.
Hi! We're serving.
What's that?
Ah, nothing. A bandit hit me.
On night duty?
Yeah.
Nadya, you should be more careful!
If you lose your eye, who will I play with?
I can play with one eye too.
- You should both play this way. - Of course, you should be equal.
Gena, let's do that! It'll be more fair that way.
I'll try!
Thank you!
Bye!
I'm here to see you, as promised.
So you weren't jocking then?
Of course not.
This is my profession. My job.
By the way, who's the guy you were playing with just now?
Gena Sysoev. A tech assistant from the lab.
OK, he's out. No need to continue.
But you were playing together quite well.
So...
The chubby blond over there, who's he?
Lyosha Pryahin.
Designer, 2nd class.
2nd class won't do. Only 1st.
- He's not exciting to me anyways. - Of course...
just look at that mug.
We need handsome husbands. To have perfect harmony.
Who's the one in velvet?
Misha Dyatlov, but he's married.
That's alright. We can get him divorced.
He has 2 daughters.
Really?
Alright, in that case he can live.
Child support payments, visiting the other woman's kids...
that's not the way to go.
- Not so many men here. - Yeah.
Listen, what do you think about the boss?
Pyotr Vassilievich?!
It's okay, don't get scared. We don't need him.
If he was a professor or some Ph.D. ...
Otherwise I can see that he'll sit behind that desk till retirement.
He's a good person.
You want him?
No, no.
In that case,
only this fine dandy is left.
Yeah, no other options.
He is good looking
but it's probably not possible.
Why?
Do you know what a pimp he is?
He doesn't even see me as human being. All the girls chase after him!
Nadya, throw the rubber.
What rubber?
The eraser.
Here you go.
Dzienkuje!
Why is he speaking Polish?
He has a hobby of speaking in different languages.
Multilingual?
No, just knows a few words from different languages.
Mostly "thank you" and "goodbye."
Like a parrot.
It's alright.
Men are allowed to have harmless hobbies.
Know what? I think this is an interesting option.
Let's choose him?
No, Susanna, that's impossible.
All the copy department girls chase after him.
So let them chase him. For marriage he'll choose you.
Want it?
I do!
Done!
Fill this out
for both you and him.
I'll analyze the results.
Nadya, can I cut off a half?
Of what?
Of the eraser. Yours is so soft.
I soak it in kerosene that's why.
Just take the whole thing.
Shnorhakal em tsum!
What language is that?
It's Armenian. Also "thank you."
You can consider him already yours.
Alright, I'm off...
my break is also ending...
I'll exit myself.
Call me.
Klyueva...
who's the crocodile that visited?
That's my friend!
Quite attractive actually!
Of course attractive.
I didn't know you had such girlfriends.
Three-meter-tall crocodile with the smile of a Mona Lisa...
Young man,
Yes.
Allow me to ask you a test question.
Please...
How will you act, if you meet a young attractive woman on the street?
a. Walk past her.
b. Follow her with your eyes.
c. Invite her to your place for coffee with all the resulting consequences.
Answer without thinking.
Can't do it without thinking.
Because (a) it's unclear to me what consequences can result from a cup of coffee.
- (b) ... - Young man,
it's all clear about you.
Keep playing ping-pong, Gena. That you're able to do pretty well.
What color do you like? - Black
Do you have any talents? - No
How do you feel around strangers?
Klavdia Matveevna, how do you feel around strangers?
Not well. I keep quiet and try to leave quickly.
For me the more strangers, the better.
Especially women-strangers...
And you, Volodya?
You?
Fine. Never thought about it really.
Must be "comfortable" then.
Who can navigate the women's beauty isle in a store?
Men, answer me.
- Depends on what to shop for. - Anything.
I can buy something. What needs to be bought?
I can't.
I avoid those isles.
Volodya, do you like to sing loudly in the sauna?
Stop pestering me, will ya? With those stupid questions.
Me! I like to sing loudly in the sauna!
The way to a man's heart lies through the stomach.
Old wise truth!
Many women have forgotten it.
Now they're suffering.
But most importantly, never tell how you cook anything.
It was wrong of you to tell Volodya that you soak the eraser in kerosene.
Now he'll soak it himself.
But you alone should have things he wants.
He should not be able to either find, buy or cook it himself.
Understood?
Understood.
Only, how will I get the pirozhki to him?
My god!
Just offer some to him and that's it.
Look how gorgeous this is!
We'll give them a romantic name.
"Maestro"
- Busy cooking? - Yes and twittering too.
I'm off to the rehearsal.
Have a good time.
Don't lose your temper over Piccalo's flute.
I'll try.
If I'm a little late, don't worry. Lately my job's been quite busy.
I understand.
Talented people have such a demand on their time.
Clever girl!
I'm off.
Bye!
He's no genius.
But has some good skills.
Otherwise I wouldn't have married him.
By the way, men love to have their egos stroked
much more than we women.
So give your Volodya more compliments.
Tell him how he's so brave, talented, noble...
Say what he wants to hear.
How can I call him "noble," when it's his fault I got the black eye?
Oh, one more thing...
don't get so excited about community work.
Rather show everyone that you're accepting it as a burden.
Why?
Because it becomes a woman...
to be dutifully resigned to the work she has to do.
Why is "resignation" becoming?
Listen, do you want marriage or not?
I want it.
Then do exactly as I say with no questions asked.
Consider me your doctor.
I have prescribed you a treatment.
And you must follow your doctor's orders.
If you start asking me, "Why this, why that medicine needed?"
it won't do you any good. Agreed?
Agreed.
Volodya...
This is for you.
More erasers?
Try this. Eat it.
They're really delicious.
You won't regret it!
What's with you, Klyueva? I have my own lunch already.
Volodya, please... You're such a good boy...
What does it cost you to eat one pirozhok?
Is this another community job you've been assigned?
Volodya, can I take a pencil?
Take it.
Yes! You really need to eat one!
Volodya, if you don't want to, I can eat it.
If Nadya doesn't mind...
Eat it together then.
OK, I'll eat.
If I can skip night duty.
What??!
What?
Oh, the night duty...
...how unimportant...
Please, go ahead.
Really?
Then I eat.
So?
What are you feeling?
Delicious.
I can bring some more.
For me too, please!
Why for you?
What'd you mean why?
It's delicious!
I developed intake questionnaires to have individuals themselves fill them out.
But you filled out the questionnaire on behalf of Volodya.
So the margin of error increases.
See what the results show?
What?
Possibly he's an introvert with predisposition to informal leadership.
What do we do now?
Nothing. He's still ours.
Only please stop wasting so much time playing ping-pong.
Sit next to Volodya.
Pretend you're interested in chess.
Don't worry about money.
You'll pay me back in installments.
So...
If I say to you "not bad,"
then haggle.
He has crazy prices.
If I start singing Bolero to you
[singing] Beauties Kadikt don't want to get married...
then take it with no questions. Understood?
Susanochka...
are you sure that's Bolero?
What do you think?
Not bad.
I look like our Vinogradova now?
You look like a human being now.
If you don't like it, try this.
You'll be a peach in that.
Just look, Susanna, what cotton, what brands.
Transforms even this gal.
Where could I wear this?
It's not modest for work.
For the theater it's too provocative.
Not bad.
Who is this, Susanna?
Is she from a village?
Try this.
Pierre Cardin!
Only 2-3 of these in all of USSR.
Even so, only the wives of diplomats have them.
What do you say, Susannochka?
Actually, really not bad.
Got it! Got it!
Only, if you don't mind...
I'd rather take the jeans, the coat, and the boots...
that I tried on at the beginning.
Nadyush, who will you impress nowadays with those pants?
Take the Cardin!
Very not bad!
It's not my style, Susannochka.
I give the jeans at face-value, even with a discount.
A discount of 50 on everything she likes.
Take it or leave it.
Is that 50 kopeks [cents]?
She's definitely from a village.
50 rubles.
Let's take it then! No bargaining!
[singing] Beauties Kadikt don't want to get married...
I am very charming and attractive.
I am an irresistible magnet for men.
They are simply crazy about me!
What foolishness...
Why you running late?
Oh, how you look!
Do you like it, mom?
You're like Larisa from the movie "12th Apartment."
Is this not good?
Wow!
Klyueva, why you not playing tennis?
Got tired of it.
I want to learn chess.
Comendable. But you probably won't get it.
Well, if you got it...
What I meant was... it's going to be very difficult for me.
You are so very talented!
Who?
Volodya?
He can't play at all!
I play better than you.
Check!
Oh, you scared me!
Klyueva, phone.
So you didn't wear the new outfit?
No.
Self-training didn't help?
It didn't.
- Sitting next to him? - Yeah.
Keep sitting.
It's quite boring actually.
No pain, no gain.
- I'll see you in the evening and we'll talk. - Alright.
Who won the last game?
Volodya.
An accident.
Accident?
Frequent exceptions make the rule.
Good job, Klyueva.
I think you'll learn chess after all.
As you see, no one's pointing fingers at you.
On the contrary everyone's thinking we're beautifully dressed attractive girls.
They think that?
Look there, two guys walked by...
turned their heads to look at you.
Where?!
Excuse me, what hour is it?
Could you tell us the time?
No we can't.
Learn to shoot them down too.
It's also useful.
Hi!
Looks like Nadya.
Look at that.
Even most backward members of society started wearing jeans.
What happened?
Why so dressed up?
Spent the night at girlfriend's place. Had no time to change.
Where did you get the boots from?
I've been looking for just these for past 6 months.
Friend gave me.
France!
What jeans are these?
From India?
You from a village?
Can't you see?
the cotton and label
What does being from "a village" have to do with anything?
Honestly, I never expected to see you in such clothes!
Oh, I have more clothes!
Another one - only 2-3 copies in all of USSR and all those are owned by diplomats.
What an undercover fashionista you are!
Didn't expect that from you at all!
Now...
I will treat you all to the cake "Nocturne."
What's the occasion?
Had a reason, so I baked it.
I haven't yet forgotten the "Maestro."
This one's probably even better!
I'll eat it during the break with tea.
This piece I'll take to Pyotr Vassilievich.
Thank you!
My mom bakes this cake too. Only the recipe calls it simply "Tea Cake."
You girls keep baking and baking.
Maybe you should pickle some cabbage for a change?
Thank you!
Nadya,
can I eat Volodya's piece? He's giving me permission.
Are you chasing after Volodya?
Me?!
Why on earth would you think that?
Is it very obvious?
Don't know about others.
But I saw it right away.
Particularly, when you came so dressed up.
I don't get what you see in him.
He's spoiled, not serious, mommy's and daddy's little boy.
It's time for me to get married, Klavdia Matveevna.
Volodya is a suitable candidate.
For you?!
Yes!
Even psychological testing confirmed it.
Well, if psychological testing...
I can't argue with psychology.
Still, I have brains and not a deck of cards...
I know for certain: he's not a good match for you.
Now Lyoha Pryahin...
he's just the one!
If you want, I can help.
I guarantee 100% success.
Winning over Pryahin is a small victory.
Pryahin is almost ours already.
And just from the "Maesto" alone.
What will you do with him?
You'll be bored to death of him in no time.
What you need is constant battle.
So the everlasting fire burns all your life!
Want that?
I do.
Then forget Pryahin.
He's only getting in our way.
He's jeopardizing the entire operation.
Only the "food" part of it.
That's the most important part.
Let's find a good replacement for it then.
Now...
Let's do some self-training together.
I'm getting out of shape.
Sit down.
Ready?
Yes.
Let's begin.
I am the most charming and attractive.
All men are crazy about me.
I have a slender figure.
Beautiful legs.
I can change men every day, like a pair of hand gloves.
I can turn and spin them, like a juggler does to batons.
One glance from me is enough...
What are you doing?
What happened?
We were tired.
Desided to sit and rest.
Dear, I have a request. Please promise you'll do it.
I promise.
You need to pick up Nadya after work.
It's for the expiremental section of your Ph.D. thesis?
Of course I'll do it.
Why?
Arkady will come to your work in his car tomorrow
and in front of all your co-workers he'll offer you a seat and then'll drive you away
in a mysterious direction.
This should intrigue Volodya.
And change his attitude towards you.
I can only imagine how everyone's eyes will pop out!
Not only Volodya will be surprized.
What's the Ph.D. thesis?
The Psychology of Marriage Proposals.
It's a sparsely studied field of psychology and sociology.
You and I will make so many discoveries!
Well? How are things, Larisa Vladimirovna?
It's okay, darling. He won't get away from us.
Repeat "Sunrise" muffins again.
Continue the self-training.
Remember, you are the most charming and attractive.
I am the most charming and attractive.
All men turn their heads to follow me with their gaze of passion.
They will be estatic if I give them a passing glance
or a smile.
I have slender figure. Beautiful legs. Graceful gait.
Charming and bewitching smile...
Hi, Nadya!
Hi!
Running late?
We'll make it on time.
What were you mumbling just now?
Oh, just a rhyme...
Why do you no longer come to play at break time?
Oh, Gena, such wonderful things are going on.
Too bad I can't tell you about it.
I see.
- Congratulations on the new outfit! - Thank you!
Do you like it?
Say the truth.
I like it.
Only you've become different recently.
Different how?
You're even more beautiful now.
Could I possibly be?
I was being serious with you. And you joke.
I was also serious.
Would you like to buy a keppie hat from me?
Why would I need it?
What?!
Don't you know that keppie hats are really in right now?
Try it on.
Look.
Looks great on you!
Why don't you wear it yourself?
First of all, not my style.
Secondly, my new husband has a keppie just like this one.
And Nadya...
since she's wearing jeans, now she should wear a guy's hat too?
I think it looks good on me!
I know what I am saying.
My girlfriends are fashion-savvy.
We read Bourdois magazine every month.
Hi!
Has Parrot the King come to visit us?!
Hello!
Exactly!
No, Lyusya...
the keppie is too much for me.
Hello!
We need to send 3 people to Suschevsk for product testing.
Who's gonna go?
Maybe someone without family?
Why the discrimination against family men?
Family men need the opportunity to get away from their families.
Please send me
with Volodya Smirnov.
I agree!
Sure, go ahead.
Send me too!
Why you?
Really?
3 people total are needed.
Nadya...
what happened?
Arkady...
I totally forgot.
I stop rehearsal for her, and she forgets.
Let's go.
Smile at me,
as I am smiling at you.
Susanna ordered it.
Walk to the car.
Susanna is a genius.
We've been noticed. People are looking.
A couple of people have stopped frozen dead in their tracks.
Should I waive to them?
Did Susanna give permission to?
No.
Then don't do it.
No improvisation.
This is an exact science.
Sit down.
Lyosha...
your shoe lace is untied.
It's been so for a while.
What's on your sleeve?
Yesterday's soup?
It's glue. Forget to rub it off.
Bachelorhood!
If you had a wife, she'd take care of you.
Mom also writes me from the village that I need to get married.
And you?
As if there were many brides around.
Many or not, you could find someone at our institute.
Nadya Klyueva!
Why not a good bride?
She cooks well.
But look at that dandy courting her!
Maybe it's her relative?
Yeah right.
You should do courtship too.
A man must be clean, shaved...
Volodya Smirnov wears perfume like a lady.
And you?
Shoe laces untied, glue on your sleeve...
pants never ironed...
What woman would fall in love?
Especially someone like Nadya Klyueva.
Good job!
But this is not enough.
Lyosha, listen to me...
Hello!
Pyotr Vassilievich, hello!
Friend came to town
from the village
spent the night with him, had no time to go home and change.
Good job, Lyosha!
Dress this way for work every day!
Immediately you've become an attractive bridegroom.
Alright
I'll wear this from now on.
Nadya...
Who was the pretty-boy giving you a ride yesterday?
A relative?
Or what?
Or what.
How do you mean?
She means it's not polite to ask an unmarried girl such questions.
Where does it say so?
It was my aquaintance, Lyosha.
He's asking me to marry him.
Then marry him, Klyueva.
What's there to think about?
His car is the latest model of Zhiguli.
I can't marry for profit.
I'll have to wait for love.
Too bad.
Marriage for profit is the way to go.
As long as your profit calculations are correct.
Profit in such a matter?
No.
Only true feelings!
That's what I'm saying.
Otherwise some keep marrying again and again
keep calculating and re-calculating.
Got the train tickets!
Only thanks to my connections!
We're leaving at 5:03PM.
Why so early?
Could've taken night train.
Don't forget, I'm married
with 2 daughters.
Every minute at home feels like 4 minutes real time
just like at the labor camps.
Did you marry for love or profit?
I do everything out of love.
That's the source of all my problems.
There you go!
I do have some experience afterall.
Volodya...
you really wanna go on this trip?
Not that much.
So-so... Why?
Can I go instead of you?
Fine with me, but Misha may not like it.
Talk to him.
Misha...
Can I go on the trip instead of Volodya?
He's fine with it, if you are.
What will you and I do there?
Test the machinery.
You think I'm going for the machinery?
Leaving behind family and friends.
Listen...
go instead of Klyueva.
And test machinery as much as you want.
You see...
Nadya is the reason I want to go in the first place.
I like her.
Just between us.
Hello, comrades!
Good day!
Your reason is good.
Man to man I get you.
But can't help you.
Your Klyueva will leave and then come back.
But I can't afford to miss this opportunity.
I've got a wife
and 2 daughters.
So, very sorry, but I can't...
And can't give up Volodya.
Because I need a carefree and attractive travel-buddy.
What about me?
Forgive me,
though you look great in the new suit, and you're a great guy all around...
you don't fit the bill.
Alright, Misha, have a good trip!
Klyueva and Stepankova, come here please.
With their things?
Not funny.
Let's do it over there.
- Before everyone. - Of course...
This comrad is here to see you.
What have we done?
Your frank confession will be remembered at sentencing.
I ask for your attention...
Come here.
For the courage and fortitude in apprehending dangerous criminals
the district police office presents with an honorary award
Stepankova Klavdia Matveevna.
Congratulations! I admire your brave act!
Alone I would never have done it,
only after her.
Please.
Yes, thank you.
And...
Klyueva Nadezhda Vassilievna.
Would never have guessed
that such a charming girl can enter combat with criminals.
Please.
Thank you.
And thank you to you too.
Why me?
For the compliment.
Good job, Klyueva.
Traveling with your home-cooked food.
Wow, your hand is so interesting!
Line of intelligence is very deep
and crosses the life line.
So what does that mean?
Guys, there's a tot out there beyond all limits of desire.
- Where? - What shall we do?
Maybe invite her to join us?
Sure!
Nothing special about her.
Maybe nothing special for you.
But for us everything about her is special.
Let's do it, Volodya.
- You lead the attack. - No, I can't do that.
I just got the jitters all of a sudden.
Completely lost my qualification.
Why don't you invite her, Nadya?
As one woman another.
As if I had nothing better to do.
It'll be more fun that way!
You like organizing social events.
If there's 4 of us, we could play a card game of Durak.
For Durak we can ask someone else to join us.
Why someone else, when such a princess is available?
Whatever happens, happens.
Bored?
As usual on a long journey.
Let's be bored together?
We are performers with Rosconcert.
I'm the MC and art director of the band "Never Sad Transylvanians."
My friends
are my colleagues.
Singer of lyrical and genre ballads Nadezhda Ashksenazes
with her musical accompaniment.
We invite you to join us
for our small concert.
Thank you. But I can't...
But why?
Believe me, everything will be...
What's going on?
Dima, we have an invitation.
Please meet my husband.
Serves you right!
Maybe we should play some cards?
No.
Tell us some more about Armenian Radio, Misha.
Sure.
There were 4 cats in a room.
Three left.
- How many remained? - One.
No.
Keep thinking.
What's there to think about?
3 left. 1 remained. There were 4 cats total.
Dima, don't get upset.
If the puzzle was that easy
Armenian Radio would not carry it.
OK
So how many cats do you think remained?
Really, tell us.
We're not going to figure it out anyways.
Two.
Why?
One cat came back.
How delightful!
Do you really tell these same jokes at your concerts?
Yes.
I am, by the way...
laureate of country wide competition of stage performers.
What an honor this is for us!
Yes.
And you?
Maybe you'll sing something for us?
Without a musical score?
Impossible!
It's okay. Can do without.
Bullfighting we went to see...
with you once...
this summer.
There you go.
Would it be possible
to place the girl as far away from us as possible?
Maybe a different floor or a different wing?
Why don't you like her so?
I must tell you the truth as I would to my own doctor.
She's a close friend of my wife.
- Purpose of our trip?
Business.
But we are two young attractive men,
so anything can happen.
Alright,
we'll place your Klyueva so far
that even if you search, you won't find her.
We're indebted to you!
With immense gratitude!
It wasn't necessary.
Tell the lady "Thank you!"
Madlopt!
Means "thank you" in Georgian.
I can draw the graph without all this.
We don't need all the readings.
What?!
The more readings, the more accurate the graph.
And what's the use of the graph?
We can see it's working.
Something I need to tell you...
my father-in-law lives around here
his roof is leaking...
If you'd let me and Volodya go, we'd help out the old army vet.
Can't you do it after work?
I'd help you!
No...
we won't have enough time.
There's so much work to be done there!
You're striving for happiness amidst all the trials of life.
Happiness is a miracle. Something very big.
Maybe the expectation itself You'll one day call happiness.
There are no recipes for love.
Put your trust in fate.
It's easy to give advice
To others, but not yourself.
You need to wait for happiness.
Why speed up life?
Maybe happiness is just around the corner?
Look around you.
Where is that knight in shining armor?
Where to meet him? How to recognize him?
Even the most miraculous machinery
Isn't able to predict.
There are no recipes for love.
Put your trust in fate.
It's easy to give advice
To others, but not yourself.
You need to wait for happiness.
Why speed up life?
Maybe happiness is just around the corner?
Look around you.
How cunning you are!
No. Probably can't.
My roommate's back.
Yes, she's cute.
I'll ask her.
Listen, Nadya...
during the day I met two animal trainers from the circus.
They're inviting us to come enjoy some pineapples.
Let's go!
No, Larisa. I'm very tired.
Go without me.
Alone it'd be awkward.
There's two of them.
Nadyush, come please. For just a little while!
We're coming, Eric!
Get pinapples ready!
So we lured burdies into the cage...
Nadya, meet Eric.
Nice to meet you.
So they are
the animal trainers?
Yes, this is Artur.
So where are your pineapples?
Please come in.
Please.
Come in.
I'll go get the siphon.
What siphon?
Where could we get pineapples from, Larisa?
We're not in Africa.
That was a joke.
But we have dried dates.
Artur... I mean...
Volodya...
take a look in my backpack.
Go.
Here.
Please.
So who do they train?
This one trains panthers.
And Artur trains little dogs. They play soccer for him.
Sometimes.
First time in my life I meet animal trainers who don't have pineapples.
So we don't have pineapples!
In that case...
we better come see you in your show
since you don't have pineapples.
It was all just a big joke.
The father-in-law was also a joke?
The crippled war veteran? Also a joke?
You are right there. Guilty, I admit it.
Willing to pay for our mistake with hard work.
Please.
Let's do it this way, Nadya...
Today we are working hard
and you rest. Go shopping. We'll take down all the readings.
As if I could trust you with the machinery.
You'll eyeball the test results, and we'll get some graph alright.
We can draw the graph.
We are engineers after all.
- Really? - Yes.
And I thought you were circus animal trainers.
Eric,
Artur,
get to work!
I finally got it, Volodya, why the whole business trip was
a complete failure.
Why?
Klyueva likes me.
- That's the reason for everything. - Why do you think so?
First, she asked to come along on this business trip.
Second, the whole trip she doesn't take her eyes off of us,
destroys at the outset any of our attempts to meet someone.
Remember how she looked at me because of that Larisa?
Like I'm her husband or something. She's still angry about it.
I would never have thought that Klyueva is capable of something like that.
We've just gotten so used to her.
But she's actually quite alright.
Just between us... Pryahin is crazy about her.
- Really? - He told me so himself.
But she is into me, you see.
But at work I never get involved with anyone.
Even if it was Sophia Loren herself instead of Klyueva.
You're right. Say, what if you met her not through work?
Then it would be totally different.
- Guys, dinners ready. Go wash your hands. - One moment.
Did you see the way she looked at me just now? Like the Hound of Baskervilles!
Now I noticed it!
Oh, what boys are in this car! Nothing like our car...
Keep walking, keep walking girls... Keep us away from sin...
I feel as though I'm traveling with my wife and kids.
Don't pay attention... Let's go.
Everything's clear.
During the business trip Volodya fell under the influence of informal leader Dyatlov.
But we have something to gain from this as well.
Now we know that he can be influenced.
I am going to give you tickets to a Gianni Morandi concert.
Invite Volodya to come. If that doesn't work, then confess your love for him.
Works without fail.
Why are you so scared, silly? Remember Tatiana Larina?
Nowadays women have stopped confessing their love.
This only hurts them.
That's a scientific fact!
Now we will pick out an evening dress for you.
Look for yourself.
How could he get away from us now?
Do you wanna go see Gianni Morandi?
What?
Do you wanna go see Gianni Morandi?
- Are you jocking, Klyueva? - No. I have one extra ticket for tonight.
I can go, Nadya, if a ticket is going to waste.
Lyoha, you really think that such a ticket could ever go to waste?
No, stop, stop... Nadya, I am going.
Pryahin, you can do without. It's soccer night on TV tonight anyways.
Actually, you're right. The World Cup is on.
Listen, Pryahin, what do you think about an intermediate crankshaft?
Like an iron girder restrained at the end?
Why restrained at the end?
What a fool you are... Lyosha!
- You gave up so easily! - What else could I have done?
Be more persistent and find a way even in the most hopeless of situations.
That's what any woman falls for in the end.
What men we've got nowdays... ...dear God!
Oh, Nadya!
- Where are you going? - To a concert.
You're so beautiful!
- Where's the dress from? - From Christian Dior.
If it's from the black market must be very expensive.
- Are you going with Susanna? - No, I'm going with a young man.
Oh!
It can't be!
Oh, yes it can! I'm off.
- Excuse me, you won't have an extra ticket? - Sorry, but no.
Lyosha!
So long, guys...
- But you were planning to watch soccer? - What soccer, when there's such a concert.
See I got a ticket! Had to pay extra for it.
Why are you so late? Volodya's been waiting for you.
A woman should be late.
The minutes of waiting give a man the opportunity to think of her yet again.
As if Volodya would ever think of someone yet again.
He's not here alone, by the way.
- Who is he with? - You'll see.
- There you go! - Ah, Nadya...
- Please meet Sveta. - Hello.
She also really wants to go to this concert, but can't find a ticket.
And she won't find it by standing in one place. I had to run around so much,
even so I had to pay extra.
You found one! Give it to me! I'll pay any money!
What?
I'm already missing World Cup for this. Are you crazy?
Alright, I'm off. I need time to get in. So I'll see you during intermission.
- Best of luck! - Damn soccer fan...
What are we going to do?
What are we to do, when the concert's starting already? Alright, I'm leaving.
Wait, wait... Nadya, do you really want to go to this concert?
Stop it, Volodya, you should be ashamed of yourself.
Wait, Sveta, I actually really do not want to go to the concert.
What's the problem then? Thanks, Nadya! Thanks!
Muchas gracias!
Faster! Faster!
Dankishot!
You're a complete ass not only in chess, but in life too.
How could you do this to Klyueva?
She gave us the ticket herself.
When a person drinks water, even a snake does not bite him.
She's doing all this because of me. I feel so sad for her.
- What do you have to do with it? - Something.
Could I talk to Klyueva?
Our competition is here... we continue drinking...
Do it, Lyoha.
Hi!
Listen...
I have a tricky request...
- I helped you earlier? - Yes.
I hope you can help me too.
Could you please tell Susanna that you're going to an event tonight
and you really need me to come with you.
But why?
You see...
we were supposed to go to a concert together tonight.
And I just really need to have this evening open.
That's the situation I'm in.
She'll let me go to you with no questions asked.
- Do you love her? - Who?
- Susanna. - Very much.
I like her a lot...
She is a talented scientist, a great person...
Nadya, I'm a musician... sometimes I just have to have...
fresh feelings, intense passion, new experiences...
just like in music...
I see.
I'm sorry, but I won't be able help you.
We continue drinking.
- Is the water carbonated? - It is.
Why are you asking?
I want a drink.
You can keep on wanting it.
But the water is only for the employees of this institute.
- Are you an employee of this institute? - No.
Then our conversation is over.
Drink up, Lyoha. Drink up.
Nadyusha...
these are for you.
Oh, thank you! But what for?
In memory of our business trip.
Nadya...
these are for you. I was sent a whole basket of them from the village.
They're so beautiful! Only why so many for me?
Alright... I'll take one back.
Nadya...
accept this small gift from me.
It's Czech, so very soft. No need to soak it in kerosene.
Thank you, Volodya.
- Oh, wow! This is great! - It's nothing.
You know, one of these days I'll be sure to get 2 tickets to a sold out show
and I'll invite you to come.
Thanks! But the eraser will be quite enough.
Everything else is just...
foolishness and crazy fancy... Forgive me.
What for?
Nadya!
Nadya, come to the phone.
Well? How are things?
- Did you confess your love? - Yes.
- He doesn't love you? - Yes.
That's great.
Good girl!
Everything is going according to plan. We'll talk more in the evening.
- I love you, Susannochka. - I love you too, Nadyush.
Bye!
Nadya, where are you going?!!
Nadya!
You'll play?
Oh, Gena!
I've missed it so!
- So much! - I too...
missed it so much!
script writers ANATOLIY EIRAMDJAN GERALD BEJANOV
director GERALD BEJANOV
Nadya Klyueva - IRINA MURAVYOVA Susanna - TATYANA VASSILIEVA Volodya Smirnov - ALEKSANDR ABDULOV
Misha Dyatlov - LEONID KURAVLYOV Lyosha Pryahin - LEONID KOKSHENOV Klavdiya Matveevna - LYUDMILA IVANOVA
Petr Vasilyevich (Boss) - LEV PERFILOV Vinogradova - LARISA UDOVICHENKO Arkady (Susanna's husband) - ALEKSANDR SHIRVINDT
SUBTITLES WRITTEN BY: Katia Kutyavina (Seattle, WA, USA) e-mail: djkatish@gmail.com